by Anna Cooke for The New Barker dog magazine
Tying up the loose ends in a divorce is never as easy as turning the page of a book to proceed to the next chapter. There are compromises, lingering pain, words left unspoken. The one item the couple could agree on, once the divorce proceedings were in motion, was to share custody of the little dog who had been a big part of their life together.
But, like sharing custody of a child, the shuffling back and forth, and splitting expenses of their dog kept the couple uncomfortably connected. Their unresolved issues kept creeping back, every time they met to hand over the dog to the other. The resentment was escalating, and their dog was becoming adversely affected by the lack of continuity and the imbalance in his routine. So, it was determined that the ex-husband would maintain full custody of their dog. The breakup was finally complete, once and for all.
Their lives moved forward. She found stability in a newfound love, and the addition of two little senior dogs. Her ex had the occasional date, but his one constant was the little dog.
A few years had passed when, one evening, she saw an email from the veterinarian of their once shared dog. The one thing her ex had forgotten to do was remove her as co-parent from the veterinarian’s records several years before. The email revealed that their little dog was gravely ill.
Her ex was inconsolable when she called him to inquire about the dog’s condition. When she visited, the little dog appeared not to recognize her, and that stung. Even though they had not seen each other in a long time, she thought he would still have some sense of who she was and remember her. As she stroked his fur and spoke to the little dog, he began to slowly wag his tail.
The two ex’s conferred over the dog’s prognosis with the veterinarian, once again sharing medical expenses, and spending what little time their dog had left, caring for him together. They discussed arranging in-home euthanasia.
During that brief period of time, they opened up about what was going on in each of their lives. Communication was the one thing lacking during their marriage. Their mutual inability to openly convey feelings was the proverbial wedge that drove them apart. Now suddenly, over their dying dog, they were opening up to each other as never before.
Back home, after a long day of juggling work and hospice care for the little dog, she fell into a deep sleep. In the dark of night, she was abruptly awakened by the sound of someone calling her name. It was so clear, she wondered if there was someone in her home, as she gathered her senses. Her significant other was traveling on business, and she was alone with only their two dogs by her side. Reaching for her phone on the nightstand, she saw the text from her ex. Their little dog was gone.
After arriving at his home, they sat with their dog’s lifeless body and cried. Together, they thoughtfully made plans and agreed on what was to come next. Cremation. Two engraved paw prints and two boxes of ashes.
Recently recollecting with a friend on what had transpired over the course of that week, she realized it was their little dog who brought the necessary closure both of them needed to begin healing. She felt an incredible lightness of being as if a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders. It was the love of one feisty, smart, adorable, and all-knowing little dog who died on his own terms, as his purpose in life had been fulfilled.
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The Art Of Dog.™ 